You're So Good

Mon, 04 Jul 2005 03:55:18 GMT

well. turns out i've had a myspace all along. dont get on the computer much anymore. or when i do i really just look at clothes. sitting up waiting for nathan. i might just to to bed soon though. i've got work in the morning.

Fri, 03 Jun 2005 15:44:03 GMT

eee nathan comes home tomorrow! <3333

i was supposed to work the afternoon shift but i asked jay to work it for me. so now hopefully i can do something with him. and if not i guess i'll just go to work anyway. or something.

my parents have been gone all week and its been fun. i've stayed out as late as i wanted. i've also spent a lot of time with chase this week. its been fun.

well thats my update. i take the sat tomorrow.

Mon, 30 May 2005 01:25:47 GMT

well nathan is gone for a week so i guess that will be good. or bad. both will work. i'm glad for the break so i can think about things but of course i miss him. havent missed him too much for now though.

anyhow i had this weird dream about reed the other night so i figured i'd call him and see if he wanted to do something. partly because i feel like i need to explain myself to him for the past i guess and partly because i still want to be friends with him. well our convorsation went something like this

hi is reed there?

maybe

haha hi reed...its karly

oh hey

yeah, uh. wanna hang out with me soon?

oh. i dunno. (long pause) i kind of have a girlfriend

yeah and i have a boyfriend

(weird sounding) oh. uh when?

next week sometime

uh. i dunno..i have to work and stuff

so do i.

yeah i'm painting my house and stuff

basically after those few weird sentances i said well i'm going to go. and i hung up. at first i was really upset. i wasnt asking him out on a date i just wanted to tell him i'm sorry! and to wish him luck and everything. ugh. but then i decided it was okay because at least i tried. i'm still upset when i think about it though. i almost wish he would call back or something just so i can repeat what he said to me and be rude about it.

jesse is here this weekend and its been fun. i worked 11 hours today. but we got to leave early so really only like 10. last night we saw kingdom of heaven with my dad. aahh its sooo good. i expected it to be just another war movie but it was amazing. <3 i love it. and orlando bloom. tonight we are going to watch the phantom of the opera with my dad because he hasnt seen it and then the life aquatic! i'm excited.

Fri, 27 May 2005 04:33:45 GMT

i suppose with the end of the year an update is due.

my picture is now hanging in the cafe that i wrote about in my last post. i got my portfolio finished and in all i'm happy with it.

funny, it doesnt seem like the end of the year. it just feels like another weekend. the pool opened full time today but i had the day off. this morning i went to harwin street with my mom and my sister. but i said i had to get home early (before 2) to spend time with my effing boyfriend. *sigh* anyways i bought 5 new necklaces. <3 i love them. then we went to lunch at la madeline. the emerys were there. so i said hi and then we ate. it was good. very good. i took the other 1/2 of my sandwich home with me though. i came home and called my effing boyfriend. and he said he would come over in a while because he was playing his video game. then he called back a while later and said "well..." and thats all i needed to hear to know that he wasnt coming over. anyway he went to practice with bobby and mason (enloom.) and then after that i'm assuming he went to practice with jeremy since today was make up practice day from yesterday. i'm not sure about that though. sometimes it drives me crazy how i always, and i mean always work around his scheduel and then when something comes up for me he gets all pissy. *sigh* and this is the future i have to look forward to. i dont know why i'm even writing this in here. no one reads it. i could talk to someone but its always hard for me to explain myself. that and i feel like no one really wants to hear it. or something. whatever. i am pathetic sometimes.

anyways i spent most of the rest of the day feeling sorry for myself. i watched the look for less and what not to wear. i took a nap with my cat and i watched some more tv. then around dinner time jamie called and she came over. that was nice. i need to hang out with people aside from my effing boyfriend. we watched csi with my mom and then we went upstairs and watched seven. that left me feeling sad.

my brother is coming home soon. i'm looking forward to that. he's a great guy.

i'm getting nervous about schools and everything. i need to find a place. but i also have to take nathan into consideration. i'm scared of long distances. actually i'm terrified of them. i just want to stay with in like 2 hours of him or something. he says that i shouldnt think about it and that i should go where i want. but we both know if i go where i want it could be toofar away and then we'll break up and i'll be somewhere i dont know and without him and i'll be depressed and it will be bad. i want to go to austin but i dont know anything about st edwards except that they have a good photo program andi could get in with my sat scores. but it would be nice to be with my brother. we could share an apartment or something.
life. hah. what a joke.

Thu, 05 May 2005 02:03:32 GMT

i cut my bangs. nothing else, just my bangs. i've been having too many bad hair days lately so i decided it was because i needed to cut my hair. i'm trying to grow it out for a little while though. i also decided it was because i get up 10 minutes before its time for me to leave. so i'll maybe work on that.

i saw fernando in the hall today. haha i didnt say hi though. i wanted to but mr emery came to show me what i asked him...sooo i figured he would still be around when i was finished. he wasnt though. *shrug* it was nice to see him from a distance though. he was always a cool guy..

i listened to the used (older cd) today in history. i havent listened to it for a long time. it brought up a lot of memories. mainly of chase. because the first song that played on my ipod (i dont have the whole cd on it) was one of the ones they played at buzzfest that one year i went with jamie and chase was there too. and we stood together and watched the used while jamie caroline and megan went closer. and we talked and watched. we danced to all american rejects together and he got his shoelace signed for leana because she couldnt be there with us. and it was fun. i hadnt even thought about it untill that song played. i was in a weird mood for a while after that. i listened to it again in photo and thought of more memories with chaser. haha.

uhmm..i worked on my portfolio today. i have all but 2 done and matted, well maybe three. i dont know yet though. i even matted some extras for my room decor. i'm really excited about them though. i like the way they look a lot. the guy at hobby lobby was talking to me about how i should take my portfolio to this place. i've never heard of it its a college...it either started with an h or a g. i cant remember though. anyways he said that if i thought my work was good enough and if it was creative and all that, that i should bring it over there and they would judge it and if it did well i would get a scholorship and what not. *shrug*

i wish i was a writer.

oh.

so uh if anyone actually reads this one of my pictures is going to be in a little exibit thing (below is what the hand out things say)

JVHS double exposure CFHS
jr gonzalez Hungry's cafe & bistro dan barney
juan guevara prestents: adam clunn
blaine hatten a joint venture by chris edwards
joe linfesty cy-fair and jersey village adam harms
andrea merola high school photography students crystal hill
lizzie muster opening reception rachelle massa
jared quarnstrom saturday may 14 lauren mclaughlin
selena salinas 4:00 untill 7:00pm andrea nguyen
kelly tarnowsky light refreshments will be served karly ormsby
ling pham
2356 rice boulevard
(near the intersection at greenbriar)

show runs may 14- june 14
daily 11am-10pm

so uh you should all go. and see our amazing pictures? yeah. i actually really really like mine. i dont compliment my work often but i like this one. chaser you should go. maybe i'll see you before then and give you a card or something. maybe not though because nathan might be there. come anyways though.

thats another thing though. college. where am i going to go?! i want to go to a school with an amazing photography program and thats all i know. but i know i need to stay in texas or close by because nathan is here. and i'm really scared to go away from him. i mean i dont have much of a life aside from photography and him these days.....i dunno. they (deus machina...his band...) were supposed to end up in austin because thats where obby (i should learn to spell his name) was going to go to ut but now he is staying here because he doesnt have enough money for ut. and i just dont know. and i'm scared.

well the most important part of that was the double exposure thing.

Sat, 30 Apr 2005 01:58:10 GMT

i've decided i love driving my car.

Mon, 25 Apr 2005 01:23:34 GMT

i got my car today <33333 i love it! it a white 2 door acura. its cute. its a stick so its hard for me to drive right now. but i'm learning.

we had orientation for lifeguarding today. and i saw chaser, so that made me happy. and i'm assistant mgr at northlake forest. and kyle is my manager!! yes! well so is this guy jay. but jay wi;; only be there for part of the summer, then he is going to ranch country. i got a sunburn though. again...skin cancer is the new way to die.

plus my brother was home and for his birthday he asked for some of my pictures so i got to show him a good number of the ones i have and he picked 3 he wanted and i'm very happy he liked them :)

Fri, 08 Apr 2005 20:37:52 GMT

i'm going down further south next weekend for a nice trip to south padre. none of this galveston business. although i feel rude saying that since i've never been there, but from what i hear its not a nice place to go. and i love south padre. so there.

we're going because friday is my birthday and what do you know, we get it off! its just a random day off really. but its a random day off that i love. i decided taht yet again i didnt want to have a birthday party or even have a real celebration. i just wanted to go to south padre and eat at el zarrape. so to mcallen i go. i'll only really be there friday night but its okay, most everyone there is busy doing whatever it is they do these days anyhow. even though it isnt untill next weekend, i'm looking forward to it. we're only staying untill saturday eve though cause i have lifeguard training with jamie saturday and sunday. ahh the beach. and my tan, my wonderful tan will come back. i'm looking forward to taking pictures.

i've had some really good ones lately, i'm proud of myself. well on good days i am. today andrea told me she was going to have to start being mean to me because mrs emery said that she really liked the pictures andrea has been taking lately and the she said but watch out because next year you're going to have some competition and held up one of my pictures. that made me feel good because andrea is amazing. seriously she's so good. i'm in awe of her.

p.s. good luck on those 30 hours brendan. ;)

Mon, 04 Apr 2005 02:23:42 GMT

i got into a huge fight with my mom. most people know already so i wont go into detail really. it was the worst fight we've had in a long time though. she screamed at me, and she screamed at morgan for sticking up for me. it made me sick. so i decided to move out. i even started packing my bags. and i called jamie to ask for a place to stay for a few days untill i could figure things out. so morgan called my dad because i told her i was leaving. my mom yelled at me some more, then she yelled at morgan for crying to her daddy. (morgain said thats what my mom said) and so my mind was set that i was leaving, then my dad called and asked me not to go and to wait untill morning to think things over when i wasnt so emotional. later that night morgan came in my room crying and said a girl at her school fights with her mom like i fight with my moma nd she tried to kill herself like 4 times. she told me she didnt want me to die. she also told me taht my mom apologized to her and said the reason she was yelling at me was because her and my dad were fighting a lot. i still wanted out for the next few days though. to be honest i still do. and really part of the only reason i'm still here is that i know i cant support myself financially. rent for a decent/nice appartment is at least 400. plus i dont have a car. which hopefully i will soon. parker isnt going to afghanistan anymore, which is great. but now i prolly wont get his car. so i've been looking into some. he (parker) told me he was trying to work something out for me because he knows it sucks not having a car. i'm not really all that close to him, but i love him.

my 2 years with nathan is coming up at the end of this month. and i'd like to do something super special for him or just something so that he knows how much i love him. sometimes i think people dont take us as seriously as we are. i've been thinking alot about where i'm going to end up going to college. and i know that there are tons of schools in california and new york and everywhere else that i would love to go to. but nathan is going to end up in austin because thats where obbie is going to school and so the rest of deus machina is moving there too. and i dont know. i just dont want to be anywhere that he isnt. there are some schools in texas with good photo programs so i'm staying in texas for sure.

friday i went to bed so early. it was nice. after nathan left around 7:30 for practice i was going to take a nap and then call ben. but i ended up sleeping untill dad came home and i had a taco fest. (around midnignt) saturday i spent with nathan. we went to barnes and noble, layed around at home which has to be my favorite thing in the world to do. i just love laying around with him watching tv and talking, just being able to hold him and look into his eyes and kiss him without feeling like i'm being rude to the other people around us. anyways we went to dinner with my mom and sister. and brendan called and asked if jamie and i wanted to go over to his house. i said i wanted to. so after dinner i took nathan back to his house and stayed there for a while. then i came home but i left my cell phone at nathans house and my mom said she didnt want me to go anywhere else. which was a bu mmer cause we were going to wrap janas house for her birthday. and today was spent laying at home and napping with my baby girl...(my cat) and watching general confrence. actually listening to it really. i napped through parts of that too. i did make pancakes this morning and put bannanas and strawberries on them. and whipped cream. it was a good breakfast.

Wed, 23 Mar 2005 02:37:20 GMT

yesterday = worst day everrrr.

nathan lied to me about what he did on saturday night. and i knew he was lying to me as soon as he told me. i just didnt know about what. so i found out and i cried at lunch, but i put my head down so no one else would see because i didnt want anyone to know i was crying? or something. whatever. and so then i talked to him about it before 6th. and i was sad. so i tried not to cry in 6th. and i won the battle.

so afterschool i had something like a panic attack? i dont know exactly what it was. i just started freaking out and felt like i just had to talk to nathan and so i called him and no one answered. so i called again like 5 minutes later. and he was still gone. so i was freaking out even more and then i knew that i had to leave my house. so i told my grandma i was going to take some pictures.

and then i went over to chase's house. just because i needed someone to talk to. but he wasnt home.

so i came back home untill i realized i didnt want to be alone. so i called leana. and we hung out. and got ice cream and felt better.

and then i talked things over with nathan. and i wanted to stay mad at him but i couldnt because i knew he felt bad. even though it was a stupid reason to lie about such a stupid thing.

inside i'm still a upset. but i ignore it.

today was good though

Sat, 19 Mar 2005 04:35:07 GMT

its been a while.

Sat, 26 Feb 2005 01:03:50 GMT

its been a long time since i've updated. not really. it just feels like it.

tonight i had plans to either go to numbers with megan or hang out with jamie. but i decided i wanted to hang out with jamie. but when my mom picked me up she asked me if i wanted to get a puppy TOMORROW. its not the acid burn puppy or the cocker but its another golden retriever, this time its not red because it would remind us too much of darby and this is a new dog so he needs to be different. he's 8 weeks old and he's smaller than the rest so all the other puppies pick on him and he doesnt get enough milk, but he's healthy because they give him cottage cheese to make up for it. and i love him already. so instead of hanging out with jamie i am spending a well needed night at home and going to bed early. also my mom and i went and bought the little sweetheart everything that he will need.

tomorrow = leaving at 7 am and driving for 3 1/2 hours to pick up the little baby...and then going shopping downtown with megan if i can tear myself away from him. i'm so excited. i love babies of all kinds. how adorable.

nathan is in austin for a german competition but i wish he could be here and come shopping and pick up the new darling with me. because he's great that way. ;)

Mon, 21 Feb 2005 02:45:36 GMT

this weekend was vase and it was amazing and fun. both my pictures got 4s i believe. becasue i think the only ones on the display table were fours? and i right? whateverrrrrr

but my dog died saturday morning and i was the one that found him. so i cried. but now i feel better about it because we found out why he was so sick. he bad bone fragments in his spine. common to his breed. but he looked so miserable and in so much pain that it really was better that he died. my mom is going to buy a new dog now but i dont want one just yet. parker says she needs one to get over the loss of this dog. darby was like a child to her. and he was home with her all day. they loved eachother. i remember i was the first one to make friends with him aside from my mom. so he was my dog too. and i loved himvery very much. i saw the big teddy bear that nathan bought me last night and i had my kitten in the room with me, and out of the corner of my eye i saw it and its the same color as darby and i thought it was him but then i remembered he died. and i was sad but my kitty loves me so i felt better.

the new dog will be a smaller dog and not darby colored because my mom cries whenever she sees a dog his color.

i really hope my pictures go to state. that would be awesome.

Wed, 16 Feb 2005 00:31:55 GMT

today i bought an ipod thing so i can listen to it in the car.

Mon, 14 Feb 2005 13:22:49 GMT

infelix sum!

today is valentines day. and i'm very very sick. i've got a fever again and i want to rip my throat out so it will stop hurting.

:( nathan sent a flower to my first period and i will not be there to recieve it. and i feel bad cause he said he wanted everything to be perfect this year since valentines day hates me. and then i got sick. well maybe we can still go out to dinner.......

Sat, 12 Feb 2005 05:32:30 GMT

my kitten is playing with a c-tip that has blood that came from inside my ear on it. sick. she doesnt care though. because she doesnt know that. io, that was her...the io, she pounced on the keyboard. WHO KNEW A Q-TIP WAS SO MUCH FUN.

Fri, 11 Feb 2005 03:06:00 GMT

yesterday in the library megan told me she knows danny. and i keep turning the thought around in my head that if i wanted to see him again, to give him another chance, all i would have to do is pick up my cell phone and call her. i cant believe i'm even thinking this. after that huge deal i made about him being a lair, which he still is. and after i semi realized that the only reason he was really friends with me was to get into my pants, which he didnt. meh. life is really only one big what if, whats one more to add to the list?

p.s. my dad leaves to move back to mcallen in two to three weeks.

Tue, 08 Feb 2005 21:50:07 GMT

nathan and i are not back together for those inquiring minds. we're still on a break. even though it looks like we're not. its kind of like we're together but we're not...like we're on a break but he still puts his arm around me in the halls and what not.

i have the new bright eyes cds thanks to brendan and i love them soo much. i'm listening to the i'm wide awake and its morning cd as i type this.

in other news i'm finally looking into college with good art programs, i'd really love to go to the university of art at california, but i dont know if i could get in, and even if i did i dont know if my family could really afford it. and if we could afford it then i dont know if i would be able to afford to life in cali. even though its warm and wonderful. (so i'm told since i've never really been there.) thats the only a dream one really though. unless i get in.

also i want to sell my bed and buy a new one along with some book shelves and a little table with a chair or something. i'm thinking that it would be easier that way because i'll need furniture for my apartment since i refuse to live in a dorm so i can just take that stuff with me. ikea is always good for those types of things. i also really want to paint my room. if my mom ends up deciding she really really doesnt want to go to south padre for spring break maybe i'll do it then. if not then just on some other weekend.

so erm i'm really paranoid about failing alg. i wouldnt worry about it any other time, but if i fail i cant do vase and i worked really hard on my pictures and plus i love them and it would break my heart not to go since i've been looking forward to it since forever. and a few days

hey so anyone wanna buy my bed?

Sun, 06 Feb 2005 01:38:59 GMT

tihs is the worst i've felt since...who knows. its for the best i suppose. i just want to talk to him right now. he's out with his friends though and its problably better that i dont. i guess. jana and jamie are over though so i'm going to pretend like everything is fine again. and we're going to go to payless and have fun.

Sat, 05 Feb 2005 22:57:33 GMT

nathan and i are officially on a break. and this time its not going to be called off in a few hours......

i've been expecting it for a long time and we've been talking about it for a long time but i didnt think it would feel this bad.

Fri, 04 Feb 2005 11:54:18 GMT

amanda got pulled over yesterday when she was taking me home. she went 27 in a 20. big deal right. the cop followed us for a while and THEN pulled her over. it was dumb and it didnt improve my mood at all.

so i've decided i'm not goign to photo during advisory anymore for a while. because i dont really have a reason to even though i like going because i love photography.

also i've decided to stop thinking so much about the way i feel about __fillintheblank________. since nothing will come of it anyhow.

uhmm i layed in my bed all afternoon and i only left my room for about 30 minutes. i got a lot of sleep though. i didnt go see that play with my dad after all so i feel kind of bad about that, but i didnt feel very happy and didnt want to watch it. even though i've wanted to see it for a long time. nathan and i were having big troubles on top of everything else that sucked. and we talked about a break again but then he stopped our convo and said he would call me back and we would finish it then. we never did. so i gave up and just went to sleep again untill he called me back. then he said he couldnt remember what we were talking about really. even though he did. he just said he's sorry he's so angry all the time and he doesnt want me to be scared of him. i still think we need to take a break. he has anger problems, i have depression problems. it used to be okay but now i realize that we just make eachother feel worse whenever one of is is down about something. herm. i dont really want to tell the world about this.

Thu, 03 Feb 2005 03:11:27 GMT

im moving out as soon as i possibly can.

i hate it here. i really honestly hate it here.

on the bright side i went to church with brendan and it was nice. i had fun, there was lots of new people that i didnt really talk to because i'm shy that way. but brady was there, so was christina. brady and i used to be really good friends so that was nice. jamie thought your friends were hot brendan. thats why i added that into the voicemail i left you. she punched me.

Sat, 29 Jan 2005 05:18:09 GMT

tonight was alright.

after school i didnt really want to go home. so amanda and i went to jamies house. later ryan joined us. brenden and i didnt end up doing anything again. but nathan called and said practice was canceled. but i was in a pretty bad mood, so i picked him up anyways. and we were both in a bad mood together. and then he said something like it just doesnt feel the same. (our relationship) so i'm feeling like we're just fooling ourselves into thinking we need to be together still? anyways we went out to eat with amanda and we went to like 3 diff mexican places but they all had long waits, so finally we went to one that i cant remember the name of. it wasnt really good. leanas mom makes better rice. way better. and then we were trying to think of something else to do, but decided that we were tired and would just do something tomorrow. so nathan and i came home and i dozed for a while. and then he said is this really it? because thats what i asked him earlier and he cried. so i wiped away his tears and said no this is not it. however i doubt myself. oh well.

Wed, 26 Jan 2005 21:25:46 GMT

ramen noodles = love

today was pretty good. it started off bad because i was crying still for a little bit. but then i was like hey! everything is okay now so i should stop crying. and then i did. and when i went to latin ben made me laugh. he's a funny guy. and i didnt tell everyone what happened. but then my stupid picture made me sooo mad. changing times and everything. what a jerk. OH! my mom said bitch in front of me today, it the first time i've EVER heard her swear. i was suprised. she's sick though, and she was trying to make me feel guilty. maybe i'm just to numb to feel that. she has depression problems too which makes me believe i got mine from her. so maybe its time i go to a doctor about it or something? i dont really want to though. anyhow herm...i'm waiting for my sister to call me so i can go pick her up from school. and i need to find my kitten, she has wondered off somewhere. also i want to do something with someone before i go to churchh tonight, even though i dont really want to go.

thats all though

Wed, 26 Jan 2005 12:12:29 GMT

p.s. last night before i went to sleep nathan said lets not take one right now.

so i dont know if we are or if we're not. if we're going to i'd rather do it now though.